I’ve finally joined Facebook. I had always scoffed at the idea citing how I didn’t want to give up my privacy. Then as I thought more about it I realized that privacy is a moot point anyway. Do any of us really have privacy anymore? Anyone that really wanted to could find out anything about any one of us. Besides, Facebook seems to be the best way to connect with children and grandchildren.

I realized this when my sister asked me about my daughter’s auto accident. What!! ” What auto accident, I shrieked.”….”well, it was on Facebook,” she said. Apparently the telephone call is no longer used to relay information. ( I really did know that! ) I also knew that I would miss a lot of events if I didn’t get with it My granddaughter’s engagement , my grandson’s prom pictures and other important family highlights.  They don’t mean to exclude you but you exclude yourself when you don’t get with the program.

Technology has never been easy for me and I have been dragged kicking and screaming into the 21st century. Years ago my daughter ( thank you Julie ) insisted that I get a Smart Phone to replace the flip top that I had used for years. What a revelation. I quickly became one of the people I had complained about, checking my phone every chance I had.

A year or so ago I bought an Apple computer after using an old Windows program for most of my life. I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to throw that computer out the window. It was so totally different that I couldn’t do much with it but, eventually, the poorest student catches on.

It seems to be like that that with many things as you get older. I still catch myself grabbing a phonebook to look up a number instead of Googling it. The other day at the end of the movie I Googled the name of the local pizza place, ordered a pizza, and picked it up on the way home….how cool is that! What is just ordinary to my grandkids still amazes me.

My grandson cannot believe how hard technology is for me, ” but it’s so simple,” he say says. The other day I asked him to get an extension cord out of an old suitcase that I used for decoration and storage and he couldn’t get the suitcase open. It had a sliding lock that he had never seen before. “But its so simple,” I said. It was a great teaching moment, everything is always simple when its something with which you are familiar .

So, on Facebook this weekend I was able to connect with old friends of whom I had lost track, and most importantly, see the announcement of my granddaughter’s engagement. It seems that on Facebook it’s your choice as to the amount of privacy you wish to give up. You do not have to reveal your political or moral viewpoints or discuss how nutty you think others are. Using Facebook is just another way to communicate and maybe another way to enrich your life.

It had been a beautiful, sunny day. My goal had been to fly from Flint Bishop Airport to the small airport in Sandusky, Michigan, a short trip of less than two hundred miles. It was my last required cross country flight before testing for my pilot’s license and I was anxious to finish. The last year had been spent ticking off the many requirements necessary to become a pilot and for a woman who sometimes found driving a car challenging, it had been a real struggle.

As I listened to the reassuring hum of the engine and gazed at the Michigan farmland below a slight, foggy mist wafted across the landscape. What? I had checked the weather several times before taking off….sunny and clear all day. It couldn’t possibility be anything.  Storms don’t come that suddenly, do they? I thought immediately of turning around and flying back to Flint. I had only been in the air ten minutes…it wouldn’t take long….but…then I would have to repeat the whole process and it would delay getting my license another few weeks. I decided to go a bit further.  I should have plenty of time to fly to Sandusky, land, get the required signatures from airport staff there, then return to Flint with no problem.

But, if I was wrong, it was crash and burn.  My biggest fear in flying was in being lost, aimlessly flying around unable to find an airport, landing on a highway or in a cornfield if I was lucky.  I decided to fly a little longer before deciding on a course of action.  Maybe I was just looking for a problem.  I radioed the control tower at Flint and mentioned what I was seeing and asked if other pilots  had reported it.  Other pilots had reported seeing the mist.

As I flew on the foggy looking mist didn’t go away, it seemed to be increasing.  I made my decision,   “Flint tower, Cessna 1327 is returning to the airport.”  It was a decision I did not want to make but I knew, with flying, a wrong decision can make you dead wrong.  By the time I arrived back at Flint the airport was an hour away from being closed for VFR pilots.  My instructor was nervously pacing back and forth in front of the hangars when I taxied in….the relief on his face was evident  when he stated….” You made the right decision , there’s a forest fire in Canada causing all of that smoke….you wouldn’t have been able to see in another hour.

As I thought about my decision to fly back to Flint that day I thought about all decisions that we make in life.  I chose to go back to the airport because I could see imminent death approaching…maybe if all decisions we made carried this threat we would make better ones.  A lot of the decisions do carry the threat of death, but we don’t  realize it at the time.  We start smoking at a young age, get fat, fail to exercise and shorten our life but we never realize that those decisions will actually affect us.  We worry about flying, or terrorism, or tornados when the odds are pretty good that they will never actually threaten our lives. Some of the decisions we make don’t threaten our lives but certainly affect the way we live it.  The education we choose to pursue, the person we marry, and the people we choose as friends affect our lives much more than we realize at the time.

Flying back to the airport that day did increase the time that it took me to get my pilot’s license.As much as I hated that delay it made me feel much  more confident to make decisions. I got my pilot’s license and later my helicopter rating…. and am still alive to talk about my experiences.

I’m sure I did stupid,silly, things when I was younger. As I age though, I’ve noticed that it seems to happen more frequently. In my quest to become more efficient I’ve become just the opposite. Wednesday is garbage eve at our house. That means that usually I haul every bag of trash that we’ve accumulated throughout the week down our long driveway for the garbage men, who arrive at the crack of dawn on Thursday morning. If I leave early I gather up that last bag of trash, toss it in the back of my car to be dropped off on my way out. Last week the inevitable happened. The trash went to my appointment with me to seep and smell in my hot car. Opening the car door several hours later revealed the pungent odor of weeks old leftovers.

Each time I have an incident like this I think about Dementia, Alzheimer’s, and mini stokes. Could this be the first step to the nursing home ?   I think the public is just too educated. We know too much.  A mental lapse in someone young is something to laugh about, in someone older it’s a symptom.

I try to keep things in perspective by remembering the silly things I did when I was younger. The day that I wore sunglasses with one missing lens as I ran merrily around town doing errands.  Or the time I spent the the whole afternoon doing business with an x over one eye. (I had been to the eye doctor and the staff there had placed the x to be certain to work on the correct eye)

Drug companies spend billions of dollars each year to make certain that we know which drug to take for any symptom. They have wonderful commercials.  I find myself watching them as if they are mini- series.  The people are just like us except they are having more fun.  Their families are caring and laugh a lot.  Watching these commercials  enables us to  diagnose our problems and ask for the correct prescription on our trip to the doctor. This prescription becomes one of the four billion written every year.

Every horrible detail of every disease is described in detail on the internet or television. How many times do we sit with our eyes glued to a talk show while a sobbing woman tells of her medical trials. We can’t help but think that every change in our body is a symptom, one that could lead to our demise. Maybe we should stop thinking about being sick and concentrate on being well. Maybe the answer is as simple as enjoying each day, living a healthy life and limiting our media.

I am old.  I’ve finally faced the fact. When I’m asked if I want the senior citizen discount I smile and say yes.  I’m no longer appalled when a good share of my mail turns out to be ads for long-term care and hearing aids.  I’ll even admit my age now and then and not be upset when nobody says , “you don’t look that old!”  I’ve spent a long time thinking about aging and have made some resolutions as to what I will not become as I grow older.

Medical problems will not be discussed with anyone but my doctor.  I won’t talk about medications I have taken or surgeries  that I’ve had.  Neither will I talk about anyone else and their medical problems.  Tests fall into the same category.   Biopsies, x-rays and lab work all will be placed in the back of my conversational  repertoire.  Neither will I spend a lot of time with people who do talk about these things.

I will live and not watch other people do it.  Television programs will be selected carefully.  Unless my city is in line for a blizzard or tornado I will not watch the weather channel.  Watching graphics of cold fronts moving through Buffalo is forbidden unless used as a sleep aid.  Scheduling my life around a favorite program is also forbidden.  Television personalities are not family and it is not necessary to learn about their personal lives.

I’ll do only what I want to  when I want to do it, at least when it involves my life.  I’ll say no more and make my contributions in areas that I really think are important.  Since everyone wants a piece of my life, I’ll make sure that I really want to give those pieces away.

I’ll never loose touch with the world.  Retirement communities may be fine for some but isolation from the world leads to a more limited understanding of that world.  Young people are no different then they’ve ever been.  They are not the enemy .  I need to realize that they are faced with more dangerous choices than other generations.  Most will make the right choices and take over the imperfect world that we have given them.

I’ll get rid of the hairstyle I’ve worn for the last ten years and never wear elastic waisted pants.  Although I probably won’t get a tattoo I will dress as if I belong to this century.  I may be old but I don’t have to look it, or even more importantly, I don’t have to  act it.  I’ll finally have more time to exercise and I’ll do it regularly.  I hope to never say that I’m  “not up”  to something.

I’ll try to do the unexpected.  My children will not always know where I am and what I am doing.  Although I didn’t agree with the elder George Bush’s politics I did admire the way he celebrated his last birthday.  Jumping out of an airplane is  a sign of really living life to the fullest.

Retirement is unique in that there is nothing that comes after.  After childhood comes young adulthood, college, marriage, and raising a family.  After retirement comes death.  As depressing as that sounds it should make one realize that this is the last chance.  That trip to Africa should be done now.  the fight with your brother-in-law should be settled now.  The endless time we looked forward to in adulthood is gone.  The retirement years are a gift.  I’ll open it slowly, savoring every one..